she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The air was thick with penises
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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