If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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