omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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