Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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