They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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