that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
