I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
