My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
