made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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