Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
