Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
