a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
