In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
