Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
