Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
