I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
