I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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