can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
