trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
