Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
