...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
