I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
