nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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