Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
