pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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