Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
