I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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