dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
