i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
