its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize