eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
