Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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