Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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