I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
