People in love make me want to vomit
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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