I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
