Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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