you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize