your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dick very happy bro
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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