Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
