My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
