i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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