i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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