i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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