I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
