he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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