It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize