I heard we made out
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
