God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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