How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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