The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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