I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I could fuck to npr.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
