why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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