Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
