And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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