i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
