I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize