Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
