Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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