i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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