I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
