my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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