So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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