Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
