things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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