Where are you?
In a non slutty way
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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