Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
