im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
