a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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