i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
