sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
