K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
