elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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