I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
