god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
