Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
