I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
