They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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