It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
