Duck Duck Cougar?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
